You are cordially invited...

You are cordially invited to a pity party! Sit back, grab your glass of wine, and raise it in honor of the guest. Cheers, Heather!

Is there a commune of twin mommas out there, somewhere, in this wide world? Can't I just choose to surround myself with some of those mommas, please? Otherwise, I find myself second guessing my parenting skills and decisions and feeling like a complete failure as a mom. I can't go to the park like a mom of singleton(s) can. I can't just "run to the (mall, doctor, grocery store, post office...)." The kids tore the door off my mom's entertainment center this weekend. They got a hold of the (new) container full of wipes and pulled every. single. one. out. Thankfully, I was sound asleep when this happened and my dear husband was tending to the kids (or not tending, depending on how you look at it). ;) (Hi, honey!) You see, I won a bet that our goaltender would not resign his contract and would go elsewhere during the upcoming NHL season. Anyway, I digress...

I get a lot of weird looks and comments when friends invite me to bring the kids to the park. I always have to ask which one, because I know there are only three fully fenced, small toddler parks in our area. Inevitably, because most of our friends have older kids, it's a much larger park. I just can't take both 18 month olds to a larger park that isn't completely fenced in. Even if it is fenced, if it's larger than a small plot of land, then one of the kids ends up on my hip while the other one plays and then we switch. Why? Well, because my kids don't play together outside of the home. They go in opposite directions and, 9 times out of 10, they don't want to play on the playground. They'd much rather explore. It's exhausting and frustrating. It just doesn't work out well and it seems as though no one else understands. Even if you have two singletons, you can't possibly understand.

So, here I am feeling sorry for myself. I'm a terrible mom. I can't do anything right. My kids are going to grow up resenting me because I didn't take them to the big kids park every single day with the other kids.

I did take them to the park today, after we picked up Ellie's new prescription shoes. I let them run up the hill to the playground, but then they just weren't interested in the equipment. They wanted to dig in the dirt and play with the sticks, which was fine. Then, of course, they wanted to run. In opposite directions. My only other option, in order to let them run, was to take them down to the baseball field, which is fully fenced. I opened the gate and they took off, picking flowers, trying to squish bees, chasing their shadows and generally having a great time.

See? I'm a terrible mom. My kids would rather play in an open field, squishing bees than playing on the playground with other kids. What have I done to them? I want them to be social kids, not shy like my husband and I are.

I'm going to spend nap time looking for a twins commune. When I find it, I'll let you know.