Wednesday, August 27, 2008

We'll call this The Great Popcorn Incident of 2008.

Let me set this up for you all. We have a small bowl of popcorn for snack every afternoon. Today, the phone was ringing off the hook because I have a hospice patient that is being abused and we're trying to get that taken care of. Anyway, I figured (silly me!) that they'd be okay with a small bowl for a second while I answered the phone. After all, we work very hard on knowing that we only take ONE item from the bowl or plate at a time. Let's backtrack for just a second....Miss Elizabeth has hit a VERY independent streak and likes to wear bibs. She likes to wear all of the bibs, if I'll let her. But, anyway, you'll notice just one bib on this afternoon, turned around as her superhero cape. I'm waiting for the day she insists on wearing her bright pink polka dot rain boots with her bibs out in public.

It got very quiet in the living room and suddenly I hear hysterical laughter and squealing. I peek my head around the corner and find this! Great fun was had by all, running around and dancing as the popcorn made funny sounds under their feet as it broke into a tiny million pieces. Oh, and, yes. That IS the popcorn bowl on Elizabeth's head.

I mean, really, what could I do? I just had to laugh and let them have their fun. That's what vacuums are for.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Ethan, you come back here!

I got stung by a bee for the first time in my life, today. I am 33. I acted like a 2 year old. I dropped everything on the ground, screaming and thrashing around with my leg up in the air like an acrobat. Figgy went one way and Ethan went the other, laughing as hard as he could. The neighbor came RUNNING out of his house, grabbing my leg to see if the stinger was still embedded in my little bitty toe (that was now the size of a grapefruit).

Him: "Was it a bumblebee or a wasp?"

Me: (wailing) I. Don't. (long sob) KNOWWWWWWWWWW! It wouldn't stop stinging me and I can't find the damned sadist anywhere.

Him: (stifling a laugh) It was a wasp, then. Those things are buggers, I tell ya. They'll keep stinging you, in self defense.

Me: In defense of what?!?! I was just walking along, minding my business. Perhaps (sobs) he should consider a different line of work that doesn't involve being in MY WAY!

As we're talking, my poor mother is running down the sidewalk. "Ethan, come back!" I look up to see him running down the sidewalk, every once in a while taking a second to glance back at gramma running after him. He puts his hand over his mouth and lets out the biggest laugh I've ever heard come out of his little mouth. My mom stops in her tracks and yells, "You little brat! I hear you laughing at me!"

My neighbor's son, dressed in his little league football gear comes running over to check on me with that pathetic look on his face like, "Lady, it's a bee sting." I thank Ward and tell him I'm so sorry to have scared him. He chuckled and headed out with Taylor, I'm sure talking about the crazy neighbor lady with the twins.

I. Got. Stung. By. A. Beeeeeeeeeeee! I think the top of my toe is going to pop off. No, really, I really do. I asked my mom to kiss it and make it better, but she told me I was out of my mind. Nice, mom. She did ask me if I wanted a super cool Barbie bandaid, though.

Ethan got his first haircut tonight, after this bee debaucle. He doesn't look like a baby, anymore.

Have you heard the one about the blond...?

So, have you? Have you heard the one about the blond who was so freaked out about being pregnant that she ran into the Rite Aid and grabbed the first test she found? Then, after two days of panicking, she realized she had taken an ovulation predictor instead of a pregnancy test? And, after the relief washed over her, she called about having an IUD put in?

No, you haven't heard about that one? Oh, well, it's funny, isn't it? Hahahaha! Yep. That was my story back in July.

This is, however, August.

This is *after* the talk of IUD's and other forms of birth control that don't involve pills.

Funny thing about IUD' have to actually *NOT* be pregnant in order to have an IUD inserted.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Screaming kids + a husband who doesn't call to say he's going to be over an hour late = one angry momma.

The kids were wonderful today. They're still winding down from an excessively busy weekend (the type that we really never do) and were in the type of moods that required two naps today. By 5:15, Figgy had enough and just couldn't take it anymore. She began screaming, the kind that shatters the finest crystal 50 miles away. I tried snuggling. I tried milk. I tried changing her diaper. I tried singing to her. Speaking softly. Ignoring her. Time out. A break in her room. Nothing worked. I kept thinking, 10 more minutes and daddy will be home. Then, it happened. The Professor began to protest, as well. Protest what, you may ask? I have no idea. I just know that I had two very vocal children on my hands and no husband to speak of. You see, he works less than 2 miles up the road, but he comes from a family where it's okay to be late without calling. He should be home everyday no later than 5:20 because, well, those few days when he actually does leave work on time, he gets home at 5:20. You better believe he'll make sure he's out the door tomorrow evening at 5:00 on the dot. Why? Because he's going to a baseball game with his father and, well, of course we *can't* be late for that. So, tonight, he walks in the door at 6:12! I was spitting darts at him and let him know that he is on his own for the rest of the night. So, I am now upstairs in the peace and quiet, about to curl up for a short nap and then I'll tip-toe downstairs to do some laundry.

My biggest pet peeve in the world has to do with people not calling to say they're going to be late. There is absolutely no reason for it, especially when you KNOW you're going to be late and you simply choose to just not pick up the phone. I've often asked him when he was going to start working a second job when it comes time to put the kids in daycare because he'll have to have a second job in order to pay the late fees. And, after so many times of picking them up late, we'll be expelled from daycare. So, honey, you better start looking for that second job...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Twinados hit!

I don't think we will ever be invited back to an indoor birthday party, again!

We stopped next door this afternoon for the most important birthdays of all birthdays; the 1st birthday! Little baby Logan turned 1 and, aside from my son, I do have to say he is probably the cutest little boy I've ever laid eyes on. Our neighbors make cute kids. ;) So, they've got an older son that is 3 and he is the most charming little guy - he'll be a real heart breaker when he grows up. Anyway, my point is, their home is child proof. Or, so they thought! *evil laughter* The way our homes are set up, you enter in the foyer and there is a long hallway in front of you. Immediately to the right is the kitchen. To your left and up the hall, is the first flight of stairs, leading to the bedrooms. The people that owned the home before them put in a wooden banister, otherwise, we all have the standard white wrought iron banisters. They have a baby gate up, to prevent the kids from going up and down the stairs. That should be enough to stop a child from going up, right? Well, apparently, not MY kids. At some point during the party, I realized Ethan was out of my sight and I stood up. I called his name and heard this little, "Uh oh!" coming from the hallway. As I walked in, The Professor was standing mid-way up the steps! None of us could figure out how he did it, until I caught him later crawling UNDER the banister on the side. There is *just* enough room between the base of the banister and the step, allowing a particularly adventurous child enough room to crawl under. He disappeared again, later, as he followed Miss K upstairs. LOL! Apparently neither of their kids have ever done that or even thought to do it. Great! Leave it to the twinados. I'm trying to decide if I should e-mail K and see if their house is still standing and if we're still welcome in their home after Figgy was done with it. Between chasing The Professor from the staircase and picking up partially eaten food from other guests (because Figgy decided she didn't want what she picked up and the nearest person to her would love to hold it for her), explaining to Ethan that we don't scream at other kids, and cleaning up the soda that Figgy grabbed from the table, I felt like we couldn't get out of there fast enough. We came back to our house and the kids proceeded to have major meltdowns. They've had such a jammed pack weekend and it was really just time to unwind, but they weren't quite sure how. They were in jammies, had their milk, and were fast asleep by 8:00.

Saturday was an even busier day! First of all, we took the kids to the park on Friday evening for an hour. That wore them out, royally, and they proceeded to sleep until 9:15 on Saturday morning! That's a record! I needed them to be up earlier, though, because we had so much to do. Imagine my surprise when I rolled over and looked at the clock at 9:15 and realized that mommy and the kiddos had overslept. I bounced out of bed and ran into their rooms to get them up. We got dressed and I made breakfast, then gave them milk while they played. I browned the meat that had been in the fridge for 2 days, while making 2 batches of cupcakes for my niece's birthday party. I got Jason up at 11:30 and he showered while I cleaned up the kitchen. Then, he came down and I ran upstairs to shower and change. Since the kids had not gotten up at their usual time, they were nowhere near ready for naps, so we hit the road to Fredericksburg for my sweet niece's 8th birthday party. We learned that Figgy has picked up some new words and phrases. We told her several times that she should probably close her eyes and go to sleep like her brother. After a few times of being told that, she matter of factly looked up from her seat, sighed, and said, "Noooo." We told her that we thought it might be a good idea and she responded with (what distinctly sounded like), "I do not think so." Jason just shook his head and said, "What have we gotten ourselves into with her?" It took us FOREVER to get down south. I swear, I hate I-95. The speed limit is 65 and people sit in the left hand lane doing 45, leaving half a mile in between them and the car ahead of them. It's a disaster and I want to kill every person that gets in front of me and refuses to do 65. It took us over 2 hours to get to my brother's house, but once we got there, we were good. The kids were happy to see their cousin (their favorite person in the whole world). They played for several hours outside, running back and forth, jumping in the pool (Ellie), and just being generally fun kids. We stayed for a few hours, until Ethan laid down on the deck and started to fall asleep. We packed up our car and braced ourselves for the miserable trip home, back up I-95. The kids were sound asleep within 15 minutes, by 6:15. Once we got home, the sobbing began. They were so exhausted that they just didn't know what to do. We changed them into their jammies and they curled up with mommy on the couch, where The Professor passed out in my left arm and began snoring in record time. Figgy, on the other hand, was so tired that she just couldn't close her eyes. She laid on my chest for 45 minutes, just quietly breathing. Every few minutes, she would lift her head and whisper something to me, then lay her head back down. It was one of the sweetest moments I've ever had with the kids and I relished the time we spent laying on the couch.

So, the kids are partied out and we will not be doing this again, anytime soon. Right or wrong, they are very much routine centered kids, and we worked hard to get them settled into a schedule and routine. It's the best thing I've done with them, so far. We've had other twin moms in our local support group begging us to help them with scheduling and sleep, and it makes me feel as though I've been a success.

Vacation is coming up at the end of the week! I have 3 lists made! THREE! LOL! There is so much to be done, but I think I'm going to make one thing easier on myself. I think we'll probably rent highchairs when we get there. It's two less big things to put in our small vehicle and they'll even bring them to our beach house for us. I'm going to put up the pack-n-plays tomorrow night to see if they'll sleep in them for us. They wouldn't sleep in them when we were in Boston and they were even in our room with us, so I'm afraid that's going to happen this time around (especially since they'll be in a different rooom). If that's the case, then it's two less things to pack and we'll just put a twin mattress on the floor in our bedroom at the beach where they can sleep. I think we'll need to rent a small U-Haul to bring everything else.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Mommy has lost her mind.

Jason came home this evening to a house crumbling down around him. Figgy has taken to screaming, for no apparent reason, and it was ugly. It's like a cartoon, of sorts, except it isn't at all amusing. There are sippy cups being thrown this way, toys being thrown that way, heads spinning around, lights blinking off and on, thunder claps from the angry gods, and mommy begging for that sweet little girl to reappear. Well, after 45 minutes of begging, ignoring, begging and threatening to sell Figgy to the gypsies, Jason came home from work and I promptly ran, no, sprinted to our bedroom where I shut the door, turned up the television and crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over my head. I stayed there for 25 minutes until I was sure peace and tranquility had been restored in the main part of the house.

Jason was feeding the kids dinner. "I just fed them!," I exclaimed! "They cannot possibly still be hungry." Do you know those two acted like they hadn't been fed just an hour prior? They ate EVERYTHING offered to them for dinner and were ready for more. Just before Jason had come home (and before Figgy's meltdown), I had fed them chunky chicken noodle soup with lots of carrots and celery, then TWO (yes, 2!) cucumbers from the garden. I think my kids may have holes in their tummies because never, in a million years, would I have guessed my beautiful daughter was acting like the devil's spawn just because she was hungry.

Am I ever going to get this mother thing down? Is there really any other job in the world quite like this where you absolutely love what you're doing one minute, feeling like you may very well have found something you're good at; only to feel like a complete failure the next?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Computers are evil.

Ugh! I've been without access to a computer for FIVE days now. FIVE! Five long and painful days feeling disconnected to the outside world. My work lappy died and they are saying they thing it needs a new motherboard. Ugh. I haven't even begun paying my boss for it. As a result, I have no pictures, no spreadsheet with finances, and no documents. Everything is gone. Thankfully, I downloaded most pictures to our phanfare account...

Let's see...Figgy had the meltdown of all meltdowns today at the doctor's office. I had an appointment and it was so bad that the tech actually suggested that I find a sitter the next time I had an appointment. I came *this* close to telling him where he could stick his pen, especially after they left us sitting for an hour and half past my appointment time. That would be why I didn't even attempt to quite Figgy as she thrashed and screamed in the stroller. Once outside, I proceeded to have the mother of all meltdowns right alongside of Figgy. Once we kicked and screamed it all out, we headed on to finish our errands and both kids took a short 40 minute nap in the car. Blissful peace ensued.

The Professor is talking more and more each day and Figgy will sit and "read" from a book if you ask her to. The Professor is quite the little mommy's helper, too, and is eager to help when I need it. For instance, I asked Figgy to bring me her sippy cup this afternoon so that I could fill it up and she threw it at me. My little man walked over, gave his "sissie" a stern finger point and brought the cup to me with a big grin on his face.

We have experienced the most amazing events the last few weeks. I have talked about moving their cribs to the center of the room because Prof was having bad dreams and needed comforting, which Figgy is always ready and willing to do (such the little mommy). Well, we found them climbing into the other's crib every night, so I put the sides of their cribs down and made one large double crib. We found them snuggling, fast asleep the other night. It is the sweetest of all moments I have been blessed to experience in this journey as a mom of twins. They rely so heavily on one another for comfort and it makes me smile. Until, of course, Figgy decided that she was a circus performer and wanted to scale the wall using the crib rail and hanging from the letters attached to the wall...a crib tent was purchased this weekend until we decided it would be best to take off the rails and open them up to the world of toddler beds. I'm not buying toddler beds, though, as we're simply using the crib frames. This makes for a long and drawn out process for naps and bedtime, but they eventually succomb. It took an hour to fall asleep for naps today, but once they did, they slept until 5:15. Ethan was still talking in his crib after bedtime the last I checked, at 9:15. I don't open the door. I don't care where they end up falling asleep, if it be the floor or the laundry basket. They fall asleep and that is how it goes. :) I didn't get good sleepers on a schedule for nothing, dang it! At least we're still at the point where I can say, "naptime" or "bedtime" and they scamper to the gate and crawl up the stairs to their bedroom.

Our favorite sayings as of late: "Oh, no!" "Oh, my!" "Oh, boy!" "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" (As in, awww, you're in trouble!) "No, no, no, no!" "Blantie!" (For blankie!) "Doddie" and "Titty" (Doggie and kitty)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Click to Mix and Solve">
Click to Mix and Solve
Another fun timewaster!

Mikayla comes to visit (and we have the best neighbors, ever!)

My wonderful niece came to visit this weekend! She arrived Friday afternoon and is staying until mid-day on Sunday. She was such a huge help, I can't even begin to explain how much *easier* life has been with her here! It's going to be agony having to do this alone, again, on Monday. LOL! Mikayla, you are the very best young lady I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and I'm so very proud of you.

We hung out on Friday and had dinner out, then did her school shopping with Gramma W at Kohls. She got her entire fall wardrobe picked out and crashed when we got home. I had to carry her upstairs to bed. :) This morning, we got up bright and early and had breakfast, then headed to the National Zoo for a few hours. I love being there and meandering down the paths, normally during the early morning hours during the week when it's quiet. The kids have finally hit that age where the animals fascinate them and they get excited. We hit the elephant house, first, and then made our way to the Panda exhibit. Tai Shan is on baby watch, so we were only able to see Tian Tian, but that was exciting, nonetheless. There were so many people there! We checked out the pigmy hippos and a few other animals and then made our way to the Great Ape house. As we were walking towards the center, Mikayla and I both looked up and nearly had heart attacks! There, in the sky on a tower, was one of the Orangutans! It appeared as though he had gotten out of the enclosure and all that I could think of was how on earth was I going to get all three kids to safety? It turns out, the zoo has built a huge "tramway" for the apes to travel throughout the park.

Once inside, we were treated to a real "spectacle." It was one of those, "Oh my gosh, how do I explain this" sorts of events. There was a large crowd gathered around one of the Orangutan windows and everyone was laughing and gasping. We waited our turn and made our way to the glass where, to my shock, the two apes were...ahem... Yeah. How do you explain this to an 8 year old? All I could think was, "My brother and sister-in-law are going to kill me." Thankfully, the female ape pushed the male off of her (how appropriate!) and went to the corner to go to sleep. Unfortunately, this left the male frustrated and looking to cause trouble. We were right up against the glass and Figgy was sitting in the front of the stroller. All of a sudden, the male (HUGE, by the way) came running towards the glass - right at Figgy!

The screaming began within milliseconds of this picture being taken. He kept trying to kiss her and she nearly tore out of her straps in the stroller trying to get away. I believe my ears are still ringing, as Mikayla can attest to.

It was a fun day and everyone had wonderful naps. :)

After some other plans during the evening, we came home and joined four of our neighbors outside, playing 90's Trivial Pursuit, drinking wine, laughing and chatting. We really couldn't be luckier where our neighbors are concerned. I enjoy their company and love their kids. I'd never tell them, but I look up to them and really admire both women.

I've got hospice patients to see, tomorrow. I'll sleep in and take it easy in the morning, and then head out in the afternoon to see my ladies. I just recently lost a patient and have taken on another one (a total of 4 ladies, now). She has dementia and, apparently, the worker before me is not able to handle dementia patients.

All in all, it has been a fantastic weekend and I'm sad it's nearly over.

I've got a ton of design and craft stuff to post about, but I'm falling asleep. I'll update tomorrow and show you all of the fun stuff!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Why do I post this? Because I want you to get a sense of what I have to put up with in terms of decorating. My husband digs it and wants it for our bedroom. Feel sorry for me. Feel very sorry for me.

Find all fun stuff here.

I simply MUST have this for my car.

Monday, August 4, 2008

I continue to be amazed.

She drools over J.Crew and I drool over her creations!

Paperdoll Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Not much going on in our neck of the woods, today. We took a 45 minute walk up the hill and visited with neighbors this morning, while the humidity was low. We learned we have neighbors in the next cul-de-sac with 11 week old twins. How do I know this? Well, you see, we were chased - CHASED! - down the street by a woman who lives on the main road who just had to know all about my sweet babies. Now, I'm happy to chat with people, but please, please, please do not ask me personal information about my kids. I dealt with that for the first 9 months of their lives and I'm just not willing to share stuff like that. (How much did they weigh? Did you do fertility treatments? You didn't *gasp* breastfeed both of them did you? Do twins run in your family? How much did they weigh?....) Anyway, thankfully, Figgy decided she had enough of being polite and patient and it was time to make our escape. She cheered goodbye and blew the kids kisses before telling us of the twins up the street. (We also have 10 year old identical twins that live a few doors up from us.) Anyway, once we got back to our little corner of the neighborhood, things went downhill fast. Figgy tried to destroy Charlotte's web, even though I explained that Charlotte lives here, too, and that we love spider webs because they're beautiful. While I was tending to her, The Professor decided he wanted to eat the little "berries" on the sidewalk. The problem? It was bird poop. *yaks* I was so sick to my stomach trying to franically clean out his mouth.

To top it all off, I think Figgy is getting a UTI. She has been exceedingly snuggly today and just acting out of sorts. She spent a good part of the day curled up with me in the chair while The Professor played. She'd get down and play, but not for long. At one point, this evening, she grabbed herself and wailed in pain as she came tearing across the room and leaping into my lap. :( So, we'll make a call to Dr. W tomorrow and see if we can swing by. She is sleeping, peacefully, curled up next to her brother in the crib.