Monday, February 23, 2009

Our first video...

LOL! Okay, let me first explain this. Ethan has this facial expression that he makes when he's upset. He rolls his eyes into the back of his head and puts his little hand up to his forehead, like, "Are you kidding me?!?!" He's suuuuuuuuuper dramatic about it.

Tonight, neither kiddo was interested in eating dinner. In our house the rule is very simple and clear. Mommy makes dinner. One dinner. Everyone eats it...or doesn't eat it. Either way, it's the only thing being made until you can make it yourself. Harsh? Maybe. But, the reality is I don't have the time or desire to make several meals.

So, Ethan proceeded to do his little silent tantrum.

Enjoy! :p

video

Sunday, February 22, 2009

These are the moments...

Figgy had a bad spill this evening as she came tearing across the living room with the dog following closely behind. She smacked her head against the play fort and really let out a wail. I jumped up (as quickly as I possibly can these days) and grabbed her to comfort her. As I curled up on the couch, the Professor (who was across the room, playing with his cars) jumped up and started yelling, "Sissy! Sissy, oh noooo!" She was sobbing that sad little sob where they gasp for air. He was trying so hard to comfort her and make her laugh, but nothing was working. So, he leaned in and kissed her on the nose, put his head on her shoulder, and rubbed her back with mommy.

These are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A rare moment in time.

I feel like I've captured a shot of Bigfoot or The Loch Ness Monster!

We had a very early appointment today with the perinatologist, so that meant everyone was up before the sun. I quietly went into the kids' bedroom and couldn't resist running back out to grab the camera. I NEVER get to see Figgy this sweet. ;)

She loves that Panda that she's curled up with. When she's put in her crib at night, or in the afternoon for nap, she lays on the Panda's back and then wraps her arms and legs around it. I find it rather sweet to know that she snuggles with it like she does. (The white fabric you see is part of her crib tent.) If you look closely, you'll also notice Ethan's crib is right next to her crib. He will not sleep unless he can reach out and touch her. Before she was climbing out of her crib, we had the cribs together and both drop sides down so that they could sleep together. He was having horrible nightmares and this was the only solution. Once she started climbing out, we had to put a crib tent on and it took Ethan a while to get used to that. Now he is content with the idea that he can still touch her if he needs to and to know that she is right there.

As far as The Professor goes, I'm shocked we found him on his tummy. He is, typically, a back sleeper and will have one blankie in his left hand, one in his right hand, and another one by his head. You'll notice there are three blankies in his crib (two that are partially under his tummy and the one in the corner). I had to tie one blankie to the slats in his crib because he would toss it out in the middle of the night and then cry for it. You'll also notice the zebra and giraffe that are on the floor near his head. Those start out in his crib, every single night and at nap. He MUST have them in his crib or he loses his mind. Within five minutes of closing the door, they are thrown out and remain on the floor until the morning. I'm not sure what that's all about. :)


When I brought them downstairs to get them dressed (our normal routine), Figgy went to one of the chairs and The Professor found his "living room" blankie in the corner, where he proceeded to curl up on the floor and go back to sleep. I went over to him and tried to wake him up to get dressed. His response was a very sleepy, "Momma. It's dark."

Needless to say, Figgy got dressed first, this morning.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

One of those experiences...

The internet is a strange, strange place. I have developed friendships with people I have never met. I gather a great deal of strength from some of these women and in a lot of ways, that sucks because I know they'd rather not have to deal with the tragedy that they do. Who wants to be "that person" who gives someone else a great deal of strength and purpose at the hands of losing/almost losing their child? I know these women would gladly trade places in a heartbeat.

Thanks to a few of these women, I know more than anyone would ever want to know about PHACES, Chiari malformation, Neuroblastoma and a few other rare issues. It is because of their struggles that I am a stronger woman, a more determined mother and an advocate for what is best for my babies.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

New bikes

Clearly my children get their sense of humor from my mother. LOL! The kids have been in rare form lately and tonight, as we were announcing bed time and Jason told Ethan to get off of his new bike, Ethan looked at him, waved, and said, "bye-bye sucker!"

I think I nearly peed my pants; I haven't laughed that hard in so long.

I also picked up new bikes for the kids this weekend. I've only managed to put one together (now I know why Santa drinks so much on Christmas Eve) because I don't have a PhD in "toy assembly". Anyway, they love it and I'm quite certain they'll be whizzing around by the time summer arrives. We'll practice every Thursday at our community center where they have open "ride-on" play for kids under 4.

The bike...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Darn all of you who actually plan and follow through!

;)

So, the woman who makes me laugh decided to purge this weekend. Not only did she decide, but she actually had the audacity to follow through with it. As I look around me, I am reminded that I've been saying the same dang thing for several months, now. Gone are the days of throwing up for hours on end and not having enough energy to blink, let alone clean. So, what is my excuse? Procrastination, perhaps? Lack of energy? Lack of desire, maybe? Nope. It is sheer laziness and I am the queen.

We have to get this stuff done before the new little one arrives. It is all in the master bedroom, which will be where this baby sleeps for the first six months or so (until scheduling is mastered).

Dismantle entertainment center and take it to basement.
Find a place for husband's 500-piece DVD collection.
Remove makeshift desk and try setting back up the laptop.
Find a better spot for craft supplies.
Move shelves to basment.
Suction summer clothes into those handy vacuum bags before summer is actually here.
Remove 1/3 of closet clothes and put them in bags for AmVets next week.

So, why do I tell you all this? It is because I need to be held accountable and I think this might help me knowing I've shared my secret with you all.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday

Bought a new car. Minivan.

If I step back and think about all of those hopes and dreams I had back in high school, driving a minivan was so not one of them.

Be a mom. Check.
Be a wife. Check.
Be a friend. Check.
Love completely. Check.
Be a good daughter. Check.
College degree. Check. (One of the top 5 biggest mistakes of my life, by the way.)

Nope. Driving a minivan wasn't on that list.

Busy day tomorrow...my twice weekly ultrasounds are still priority. After that, I have to run to E&E's doctor to get E's test results so that I have them for the specialist on Wednesday. Then, I have to run to the hospital to get the scans from his tests. Somewhere in there I have to be a mom and keep the kids fed and entertained. Oh, and clean the house and make dinner. Jason is sick, which never happens. He has an immune system like Fort Knox. Me? I pick up every living organism and it invades my body like the freaking plague; especially when I'm pregnant. My friend Kristy, the immunologist, has an explanation for that and it makes sense.

Taxes are coming, soon. With our refund, we'll be able to pay and close one credit card (leaving only one open), our line-of credit, my dentist bill and a small chunk to the bill leftover from the twins.

$2000 down, $175k more to go.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday night

So, yesterday evening we ran over to the mall to pick up new shoes for Figgy. She's finally able to start wearing regular shoes (we still have to follow-up every few months for her hip issue and the feet) and we went into Stride Rite. While walking around, afterward, I buckled over in severe pain. I was in tears in the middle of the mall, which is so unlike me. I could barely walk. It passed once I sat down and I was fine. Fast-forward to this evening. I was getting up from changing diapers and we were going to head out the door to go pick up Jason and the pain hit me, again. I fell to the floor and had to sit there for a few minutes. Then, it hit me. I hadn't felt the baby move all day. Now, normally it's not a big deal because the baby sleeps all day and I don't typically feel much from her/him. But, beginning about 6:00 every night (like clockwork), my belly starts moving and dancing. I can feel the baby all night and everyone around me can see my tummy moving. I went to pick up Jason, picked up a pizza from our favorite local pizzaria, then headed home to hang out with my mom. When we got home, I sat for a few minutes trying to wake the baby up and get some movement. When that didn't work, I came upstairs and laid down for 10 minutes, shaking my belly, pushing and proding, and just laying still. Absolutely no reaction.

So, I called my ob and she sent me over to L&D. She initially wanted me to go to the closest hospital, but I talked her into letting me come over to my normal hospital. Once there, they tried to get some movement but were unable. I got settled into bed and they hooked me to the monitor and immediately picked up baby's heartbeat. I broke down sobbing and I think finally took a breath. I don't remember much of the drive to the hospital. Jason and I were both silent, thinking the same things...what if? It wasn't an instant relief, though, because baby's heart rate kept dropping from 150-ish to the low 100's. So, I spent a great deal of time rotating from left to right and we did a number of NSTs while I was there. After three hours, we were able to see improvement in the heart rate, but not enough that the nurse felt confident. So, she hopped on the phone with my ob, who headed over to check me out on her own. I have to tell you, I'd marry the woman if I could. I absolutely adore her. There is no other doctor in this world quite like her. She was phenomenal and had me laughing by the end of her visit. Even Jason loves her. :)

I'm home, now. All is well, but the joke between the nurse and our doc is that my body doesn't seem to know how to just grow one baby. I did so much better, pregnancy-wise, with the twins. This pregnancy has been much more difficult.

I am convinced this baby is a girl.

Tuesday Fiona Witt

http://www.half12.blogspot.com

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I adore...

...hearing my kids call each other "sissy". :)

The Professor has always referred to Figgy as "sissy" or "MY sissy". When he talks to her, about her, or wants her attention, that's what he calls her. Figgy, in return, has taken to calling HIM "sissy". It's pretty funny and I know people must question it when they hear her calling him that.

The other thing I adore is the constant "twin speak" that is going on. They've always done it, of course, but it has really increased dramatically over the last several months. It's non-stop and I just love sitting back and watching them/listening to them.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Let's clear something up, shall we?

I've had it up to HERE with women who try and compare having several singletons close in age to being a mom of multiples.

I don't care if you have a newborn, a 9 month old, an 18 month old and a 27 month old. YOU DO NOT HAVE ONE STINKING CLUE WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE TWINS. What it does mean, however, is that you like to reproduce and don't give your body enough time between delivery and conception and that makes you crazy, in my opinion.

Irish twins DO NOT equal twins.

Got it?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stay tuned...

So, the fun news from today is that this little one has a full head of hair. LOL! Like I couldn't have told them that, already? I could buy stock in Tums. Actually, I finally had to resort to Zantac like I did with the twins. Figgy had a full head of hair when she was born, too.

We're doing ultrasounds every Monday and Thursday from here on out. I started the medication tonight and we'll see how that goes. My ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby and, hopefully, have a successful VBAC. The baby wanted nothing more than to sleep today and they tried everything to wake him/her up. They managed to get a few minutes of breathing exercises monitored before he/she went back to sleep. Of course, this one is quiet all day long and decides the night is for parties and acrobatics. Wonderful!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

New favorite words...

Figgy has two new favorite phrases. One she learned from me: "Of course!" The other, from daddy today in the car: "Awesome!"

It's all I've heard today.

Figgy: "Momma. Elmo awesome!"
Me: "Really?"
Figgy: "Of course!"

:)

My appointment today was both good and bad. I have to say that I absolutely love the new doctor in the practice. She started her training as a midwife years ago and became an ob at some point. She practiced at Georgetown Hospital for 10+ years and joined my practice about a year ago, I guess? So, now I'm absolutely wild for my group of docs. I talked at length with her about what the perinatologist said and she reminded me that they're not the one's delivering this baby. She said to remember that they're high risk docs and their job is to sort of scare us (for lack of a better phrase). She said that they will absolutely do their very best to ensure a successful VBAC and that they always feel vaginal is the best way to go. But, she also wanted me to keep in mind that it's not a promise and they will do the c-section if necessary. I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is a blanket statment of, "you will not be able to have a VBAC". As far as the medication goes, I'm really torn about this. The medication in question is called glyburide. I've been researching the hell out of this and my gut is telling me to tell them to go jump in a lake and refuse to take it. But, I'm also very afraid of insulin addiction. With PCOS, I'm already in an insulin resistant state. Add to that the family history and the gestational diabetes, and my chances of never coming off of the insulin after this pregnancy are exceptionally high.

I'm now in the weekly window of ultrasounds and will find out tomorrow if we're moving to twice weekly ultrasounds. My ob wants me started on something immediately as my resting numbers are not being controlled by diet. The rest of my numbers throughout the day are good, but the resting number isn't. She says that's a clear indicator of the progression of the disease and my body's inability to regulate. I guess I'll know more tomorrow...

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Heard from the kids' room this morning...

Figgy woke up in a foul mood.

Figgy: "yayayayaya...aaaaaaaaaahhhh..." (loads of whining)
.
.
.
.
This goes on for several minutes as I'm brushing my teeth and getting dressed.
.
.
.
Figgy whines more...
.
.
.
.
.
The Professor: "STOP!"

LOL!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Stuff and stuff.

I've been holding off on saying anything because I've been so ashamed about it, especially after making it through the twin pregnancy relatively easily. The extra fluid and large baby were, in fact, indicators of gestational diabetes. My number wasn't really "off the charts" so to speak, but it was high enough that my doc didn't even give me the option of the 3-hour test. I made an appointment to go to the gd class and talk with a nutritionist, which was today. I also sat and talked with my perinatologist last week. That was a miserable experience and has left me both numb and angry, ready to fight. I'm going to ask my ob this week if she has another recommendation for the specialist because I really just never thought I'd have to see these folks again after the twins. I'm not at all happy with the techs there and after the experience last week, definitely not happy with the practice in general. He looked me right in the eyes and told me that it would be impossible for me to have a successful VBAC, that they'd most certainly take the baby early via c-section. Unfortunately, that also means that Jason won't be allowed in the delivery room with me. You see, my placenta is directly underneath of the old scar from the first c-section. So, the way it has been explained to me is that it becomes increasingly likely that I will bleed out and need extra help in the delivery room. This is reason number 1,000,000 that I don't want a c-section, but it seems like I'm being bullied into that decision. I have an appointment with my doc on Wednesday and we'll see what she has to say. The other thing I'm really quite upset about right now is that I discovered today at the nutritionist/conference thing that my perinatologist is known for prescribing a drug for gestational diabetes that is not approved by the FDA. The nurse mentioned it to me in passing as a "just in case you didn't know" sort of thing when we talked about the possibility that my numbers might not be controlled through diet. My resting level is high, which is a problem. The nutritionist today looked at last week's food journal and was impressed, but made a few tweeks to see if that will help with the resting numbers in the morning. I still feel like I'm eating way too much food, but I'm going to trust the nutritionist. I am back to throwing up one meal a day, but I'm convinced it's because of the amount I'm eating. I'll talk to the doc on Wednesday about that, as well. I went from eating three small meals a day to eating six small meals a day with LOADS of carbs.

I'm devestated by this news, all in all. If I can't do anything else right at all, I do take phenomenal care of myself during pregnancy because it's no longer just about me. I have this little person that I'm responsible for. I feel like this whole process has been a disaster from beginning to (nearly) end and it upsets me. I had these goals to finally be able to experience childbirth and the labor process and it seems as time progresses, those goals are being eaten away at.

The one thing that I'm not willing to do, in all of this, is take the medication that the peri will prescrible. As much as I want to avoid insulin, if my diet change doesn't correct the numbers, I will take the insulin before taking a pill not approved by the FDA. I don't care that they've been prescribing it for 7 years now and that no patients have had adverse effects. The pill hasn't been around long enough to tell me what it's going to do to my child in the long run...15 years down the road. I can't believe that they are even able to do this. And, what's more, if this nurse hadn't told me, I'd have taken the medication with no questions asked because I TRUST my doctor.