Sunday, June 29, 2008


I am in mad crafty momma frenzy! I have all these ideas and nothing available to me, yet, and I am officially addicted to! I've ordered a slew of fabric, trim, and supplies, so now I just have to be patient. I found this hip fabric that would be simply adorable as a pair of pants for Ellie this fall:

Wouldn't that just be cozy with a brown or burnt orange/red turtleneck sweater?!?!?! I can't wait to get the bolt.

We did absolutely nothing this weekend! Nothing! There was no organizing of the kids' closet, no boxing up of yard sale stuff, no reorganization of the basement (post-flood) and no cleaning to speak of. We did manage to dust everything in our bedroom and I did hang a few pictures, along with setting up the air purifier in the nursery. And, I did get out on Saturday to see my hospice patients. I'm concerned that one is being abused by the staff in her nursing home and I filed a report and contacted our reps. It turns out my first patient of the day actually did have a stroke last weekend, as I suspected. I also got up to Potomac to see my grandmother in the nursing home. She was very alert and talkative, even though nothing really made any sense. She was very excited to see the twins and clapped her hands like a child. It makes me sad to see her like this and, shamefully, I have a harder time seeing her than I do with my hospice patients. I really do need to get on the ball and find a hospice facility in Maryland for grandmother. (Note to self!)

I'm most certainly jinxing myself by saying this out loud, but I've had 7 straight days of 3+ hour naps from the kids! I think I may have finally figured out the ideal nap routine for our family. I was laughing last night because my sleep bible says they should be taking two naps, still. LOL! All things considered, though, that book saved our lives! Every mother should read this book.

I've been fretting, as of late. I keep hearing other moms of twins talking about how easy this stage has been/was for them. This particular stage is exhausting and has been the most challenging, by far. I look back at the newborn phase with fond memories. I know it was challenging and we were just learning, but they didn't have definite opinions and ideas, they didn't run in opposite directions and, when they screamed, it was a muffled, cute sound. I have a friend who is getting ready to have her first child and we were talking on Friday about coming home from the hospital. I had forgotten about that moment! The instant I shut the car door and we had gotten the kids settled into their seats, I burst into tears. I sobbed all the way home, begging my husband to take us back to the hospital. I was convinced I needed the nurses to help me. I didn't know a darned thing about being a new mom of two babies. Here we are, 17 (almost 18) months later, and I feel like a pro at this. I've certainly changed my views about a good deal of things. I may even vote for the opposing candidate this go-round! *gasp!*

Why is it, when I get settled into a new scent, they discontinue the perfume? This has happened to me every single time I discover a new perfume. First it was (don't laugh) Love's all those years ago. Then, Incognito. Eddie Bauer Balance. Finally, FCUK. It's ridiculous! I'm a jinx, I tell ya. And, why did my deodorant stop working, all of a sudden?!? What's that all about?

Finally, does anyone know where I can find a blonde-friendly, fool-proof sewing machine? I am tired of spending 45 minutes just trying to thread the dang thing and get it set up!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

Sweet Babes

We had quite the day, today. I think we've hit that mark where we can't take the kids out to eat anymore. The last few times, I've left feeling humiliated and have come to the realization that we're *those* parents that we used to dread. Ethan will not sit still long enough to eat and throws a temper tantrum, screaming and throwing things. We're smack dab in the middle of the whole, "let's throw everything" phase. (Please tell me it's a phase!) He gets incredibly frustrated about something, anything, everything and reaches for the nearest thing to throw. If he can't find something to throw, then he finds the next best thing to take his frustrations out on. Sometimes it's the dog, occasionally the cats, but most of the time his sister.

Anyway, we went to lunch with my oldest and dearest friend from high school. She's a Godsend and just steps in and takes one of the kids and helps out. I had to cut our lunch short because Ethan had enough and, in true Ethan form, grabbed a piece of pita from the table and flung it across the restaurant. Thankfully, there was only one other family in Quiznos, but still, it was incredibly inappropriate. As she got out of the car and shut the door, both kids started wailing because she left. That's always a nice sign that they like the person we're hanging out with. They were asleep and snoring before we hit the highway and, once we got home and into cribs, they napped for almost four hours.

Tonight, just before bed, both kids climbed into my lap for snuggle time. They haven't done that in ages and so, instead of ushering them upstairs, I just sat in the chair with them. Each one laid their head on my shoulders and started chattering and giggling away. Jason was sitting here and we both had a good laugh. I would say, "Ellie, give Ethan a kiss." and she would reach over and kiss him on the cheek. He would howl with laughter and I'd tell him to give Ellie a kiss. He'd kiss her on the nose and she'd cackle that sweet little laugh that she has. This went on for 15 minutes and I sat there with tears welling up in my eyes because I feel so privileged to be a part of this and witness moments such as these; especially after the day we had!

No finds for the day! I slacked off. Sorry. :)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


As we were sitting here this evening, winding down for the day, I had my back turned to the kids and was talking to Jason. All of a sudden, we hear Ellie scream, "OH NO!" If you've read the previous posts, you know that this really isn't anything new. Tonight, however, there was a different tone in her voice and it was because Ethan was removing his diaper, putting it in their big dump truck, and laughing.

How do you not laugh? There was no point in trying to hide it, so we all had a good laugh and I grabbed Ethan before the cool air caught him. ;)

Boston, teeth, speech, and all that jazz.

Grab your coffee and sit a spell; this could get long.

So, since my wonderful husband forgot to ask for the day off last week, we didn't hit the road for Boston until 3:00. Really, we should probably have waited, but I wanted to get on the road. Well, on the road we got...and on that road we sat. And sat. And, ooh we moved an inch. Then, we sat. Traffic in Baltimore is a nightmare. And the worst part? The people who get in the EZ-Pass lane because it's moving, but they want to drive 25 miles per hour, smoke their cigarette, drink their soda AND TEXT ON THEIR CELL PHONE AT THE SAME TIME! Gah! The best part, though, was that he didn't have an EZ-Pass and we had to sit and wait for him to get the all clear from someone in the lane next to us that would allow him to cut them off before we could pass around him and sail through the express lane. I was a nervous wreck by the time we stopped for dinner. The kids didn't sleep, either. We got them changed into their p.j.'s after dinner and gave them their milk, expecting them to doze off at 7:30. Sure enough, they did, and we relaxed and prepared ourselves for a nice, quiet trip to Boston.


They both woke up 20 minutes later and never did really go back to sleep. We'd have cat naps here and there, but nothing solid. We pulled into our hotel at 2:30 in the morning. I went and checked in, getting our room key, and we unloaded the car and headed to the room. We got up to our room only to find a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and our keys not working. The kids are all wound up and squealing with delight, as their voices echo down the hallway. I throw my hands up and tell my husband to let 'em down and run. At this point, I'm tired, frustrated, and really not caring about the people in the rooms around us. After all, it was the hotel's fault that we weren't actually *in* our room by now. As he watches the kids, I head back down to the front desk and try really, really hard to maintain my pleasant demeanor. A quick computer check shows the room is *supposed* to be empty.

No extra rooms available. Wait a second, let me get someone else in here. I'm in training. The only other person on staff at this hour of the morning is outside on her smoke break, just wait a moment.

No, see, you don't understand; I have two 17 month olds upstairs that are running up and down your hallway. It's probably in your best interest to get us a room and do it quickly.

Smoke break woman heads back in and unblocks some rooms and reassigns us. Everything seems to be okay, minus the fridge, which they're getting for us. We get everything unpacked and try to get the kids settled down for the night. By the time we get to sleep, it's 5:00 a.m. The air-conditioner doesn't work right.

The next few days are a miserable combinataion of exhaustion and temper tantrums mixed with teething (Ethan popping in four molars at once). We boarded a boat for the day on Thursday, went to the New England Aquarium and had a bite to eat. The kids played in the public fountain and ran around in the park. We boarded the boat back to Salem and had dinner and crashed for the night. The kids would not sleep in the pack-n-plays, so we all four climbed into the king bed. Yay.

My cousin's wedding was beautiful. It was outside at Brooksby Farms in Peabody, MA and it was a glorious day. I haven't seen a lot of that side of the family in *years* and it felt like coming home, again. I'm so fortunate to have family like that (even if I'm not related by blood - long story!), to have had the opportunity at a young age to understand that sort of love. They're a wonderful group of people.

We spent Saturday in Boston as my husband wanted to see Fenway Park and then we took the kids down to Boston Common. We were thrilled! I wish we had something similar here in Washington D.C.; I understand we have the Mall, but it's just not the same. The kids decompressed, hugged dogs, chased birds, and took a much needed rest as they watched the other sunbathers around them:

Sunday, we got up and packed the car, then had breakfast in hotel. We met a really nice Boston native who lost his home in the big Peabody fire a few weeks ago and he had a really great attitude about it all. We got a good start and I was really cruising along before we stopped for lunch with the kids. Ethan had a major meltdown in Friendly's and I sat there realizing we were "those" parents who brought their kid into a restaurant and let him fuss. We left with our tails between our legs, thoroughly embarassed, and I passed out while Jason drove. We hit NYC and it took us over an hour and a half just to get a few miles and across the GW bridge. Great. Then, we hit bumper to bumper traffic in Jersey. Great. We stopped at a Cracker Barrel because it was the only place I could think that would have a big grassy area for the kids to run. Then, we headed inside to let the kids play in the toy area (didn't eat there). We pulled into our driveway at 9:30 - exactly 11 hours (AGAIN!) after leaving Boston. *sigh*

The kids, surprisingly, have adjusted back into their routine fairly quickly. Ethan is still having issues with going to sleep and staying asleep, but I really think it's just a phase. He screams for a good 30-45 minutes before finally giving in and going to sleep. In the middle of the night, however, he won't go back to sleep. I'm going to try putting a nightlight in their room tonight, hopefully that will work. I can't (won't) do the co-sleeping thing much longer. I don't know how anyone is able to do that - more power to ya. I don't sleep well, at all, when the kids are in the bed.

We've added a few new words to our ever growing vocabulary (Ethan will only repeat these words when he hears them). Ethan can repeat: poop, mom, dad, dog, cat. He can say (and knows what they are), "shoes." He goes to the container that we keep their shoes in and he tries to pull it out to open it, all while frantically saying, "shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes." He is also quite the pro at asking, "Whassat?" Ellie is fond of saying, "oh no!" and "ohhhh!" She has recently added, "Wow!" and "no, no, no" to her vocabulary. Of course, they both know the dog's name. They won't refer to me by name, but they call the dog every morning. Nice.

I have to tell you guys, I'm really struggling with weight loss. I know, I know...muscle weighs more than fat, but that's not the case for me this time. My clothes aren't fitting differently, so I know it's not that I'm toning up. I'm going to buy a pack of Alli this week and see if that will help jumpstart something. Otherwise, I'm so frustrated that I'm going to give up the gym. My meals so far today:
  • 1 container of low-fat yogurt
  • 1/2 banana
  • 1 cup of coffee w/ 4T light vanilla creamer
  • 4 strawberries
I think I'm going to make 1 cup of brussel sprouts and 1/2 whole wheat english muffin for lunch. I'm not sure, though. Of course, I've gotten in my 32 oz of water for the morning and I'll make another 32 oz for the afternoon. I'll have another 32 oz in the evening.

I have to share a few sites with you all, of course.
- a GREAT site for those with young children before going on a road trip. Awesome musical instruments (such as the cricket) made from wood for a great price! (for family resources in your area)
(because I'm all about taking care of ourselves BEFORE we take care of everyone else)

I'm sure there's more, but I'm zoning out! :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Oh, NO!

Can you hear it? That sound...shhhhh...listen closely and you just might catch it.

It's me, howling with laughter, and I know it's a bad thing.

Ellie has been walking around the house all day saying, "Oh, NO!" If she slips and falls? "Oh, NO!" If Ethan does something he's not supposed to do? "Awwww! Oh, NO!" The funniest, by far, though, is when she picks something up and tosses it into the air and says (you guessed it), "Oh, NO!"

Oh, no!

Gee, I wonder where she gets that from?

Monday, June 16, 2008

No, no cheese Monday.

So, we had an uneventful Monday. The kids slept in and I, under the influence of Nyquil, slept right through my alarm clock. It was nice to lay in bed and listen to them talking, though. It really seems as though we've had a language "pop" in the last few days. As a matter of fact, we had two new words appear out of, virtually, nowhere this morning. Let me set the stage for you...

Every morning, we come downstairs and I change the kids into their clothes for the day. Then, I make breakfast. While that is going on, one of them will turn on Disney and they'll watch The Little Einsteins. This morning, I came out to the dining room and called them for breakfast. Ethan, true to his normal self, came running into the room with his arms lifted up. As I was putting him into his high chair, I called for Ellie.

Me: "Ellie, it's breakfast time. Come in here, please."

Ellie: "No."

Me: *pauses and wonders if I heard my daughter correctly.* "Come here, please. Breakfast is ready and it's going to get cold."

Ellie: "No. No, no, no."

Me: *steps back and peaks into the living room to find her daughter standing in the middle of the room looking in my direction* "Okay, that really wasn't a question. Consider it a statement and come here, please."

Ellie: "Nah."

Now, I'm sure you're probably thinking what I'm thinking. When did she become a teenager? Surely time hasn't flown by that quickly, right? I mean, that's exactly what my thoughts were. So, I finished buckling Ethan into his chair and I said to him, "Ethan, did you just hear your sister? Can you believe that?" His response? He giggled.

I walked into the living room and picked her up. We had a short conversation in which I explained that the next 17 years of her life would probably be much easier if she took that word out of her vocabulary when it comes to responding to me. *laughs* So, for the rest of the day, Elizabeth would run into the living room, throw her little hands into the air and shake her head while saying, "no, no, no, no!" Then, she'd run the opposite direction, laughing her little head off.

God help me.

Ask Ethan what his favorite food right now is, and he will proudly exclaim, "CHEESE!" We had cheese and fruit for our morning snack and he was so proud of himself when he realized he could say it. We worked on putting "eat" and "cheese" together but only managed to get the sign for "eat" and the actual word for "cheese." Not bad, though, if I do say so myself!

So, yeah, that's my Monday. All I heard today was, "no, no! Cheese! No, no! Cheese!"

My finds for the day...

I'm making a new, padded headboard and matching curtains for my niece's new bedroom. First of all, let me say that I think it's absolutely the coolest thing ever that my sister-in-law and brother let her pick out the color choice. The color? "Slime" green, as my niece would say. It's an intense neon green. I have been searching for something to cover the headboard with and I had a good laugh when I came across this:

I think I may actually go ahead and do that. The curtains, however, are another story. I'll keep searching for something. I'm thinking of getting a plain set of sheers and embellishing those with something like this:

Friday, June 13, 2008

Metatarsus Adductus

No, that was not a sneeze you just heard. That, my friends, is the official diagnosis as described by the orthopedic specialist today. In short, Elizabeth did not have enough room in my belly to stretch her feet. Her position in my womb was slight, thanks to her dominant twin brother. ;) We'll keep an eye on her for the next five years, also, because the center of her knees do not line up with her third toe. I know what you're doing; go ahead and look. I even did it. Go ahead, see if your knee lines up with your third toe. Anyway, we went and ordered special shoes that Elizabeth will wear for the next four months, 24/7. If, at the end of those four months, she has no improvement, then we'll look at other solutions. I'm relieved that we have an outcome and that my concerns were warranted.

I don't have a lot to add tonight; I think I'm coming down with a cold so I'm going to head to bed. I do want to end with this thought, however. Why on earth didn't they have cool toys like this when we were growing up?!?!

Tim Russert (1950-2008)

NBC's Meet The Press Moderator, Tim Russert, died of a massive heart attack today. He was one of the best known political journalists and was voted one of the 100 most influential people in the world by Time magazine this year. It is a sad day.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wait! Where are you going?

We have hit the wonderful phase of temper tantrums! I had to walk out of the room, laughing, this morning. Ethan, being the ever careful young man that he is, doesn't want to hurt himself. So, he drops to his rear, slowwwwwly lowers himself to the ground, and slams his fists on the ground while kicking. Well, this morning he was having a doozy of a tantrum about something and I walked away from him, down the hallway, and into the living room. I sat down on the floor with Elizabeth and tried to ignore him. Do you know that child got up from the hallway, stopped screaming long enough to follow me into the living room where he peeked around the corner and proceeded to throw himself on the floor and continue with said tantrum. ::blinks:: I had to excuse myself and walk into the kitchen while burying my face in a towel to hide the howls of laughter.

We had a glorious morning, playing and laughing with the dog. Every morning, after breakfast and changing clothes, we read. There is a certain book that Elizabeth simply covets. We read it a million times each day. We've been working on sign language because they are becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of understanding. We have mastered the sign for "all done." We've been working on the sign for "eat." Elizabeth opened up the book to the page where all of the children are eating dinner and she pointed at it, looked up at me, and made the "eat" sign! I was so excited and cheers were heard all over the neigborhood! Of course, she wouldn't repeat this wonderous moment this evening for daddy.

The kids are spending increasingly more time scheming against us. They can often be found crouched in the corner of the living room, quitely chattering away. I've checked to see what is so fascinating about that corner, but there's nothing there. Everytime I approach them, they scatter to opposite sides of the room, laughing. ::chuckles:: Ah, the joys of parenthood.

My plans this weekend involve a hair makeover, sewing new clothes for the shop, laundry, possibly the zoo, and dinner at my dear brother's house in Fredericksburg. We celebrate Father's Day, his birthday, and my sister-in-law's birthday in one evening. They purchased their first home about 10 miles south of Fredericksburg and will be moving in on Saturday. They are very excited, as they should be. My brother has given my sister-in-law full decorating tips over the house as long as he can have full control over the front yard landscaping. :) As it should be!

A post from me wouldn't be complete without my favorites for the day! I have to tell you, I'm obsessed with There are endless possibilities on that site, with tremendously talented people. I plan to have my site up and running when we get back from Boston. I'll be sure to link it here, so that you can support my addiction of all things crafty!

^ Simply devine! This is going to be my newest purse!
^ Isn't this superb? Imagine a cute chocolate jumper with trim around the bottom and neckline!
^ Because of my love for all things asian.
^ I love the idea of these pillows for a certain microsuede couch! ;) Or, even better, for my couch!

That is all, my dear friends! It is trash night, the dog needs to be walked, and I want to be in bed for the news at 11:00. Sleep well, pleasant dreams and enjoy your Friday the 13th!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Beautiful, lazy days

Bummer! I couldn't score an appointment with Joey before we leave for Boston next week. Joey Noufal is, arguably, one of the biggest talents in the hair industry. I've been going to him, off and on, for 5 years now. I say on and off because there are times when I just can't afford a cut, but I always regret going to the local $12 shop. You get what you pay for. Anyway, I wanted to chop off a few layers and play with the color before my dear cousin's wedding. I ended up taking an appointment with one of his Prot'eg'es, instead. It makes me nervous, but I need a cut!

Figgy and prof. are in wonderful moods today. They spent the earlier part of the morning rolling around the floor, wrestling. I pulled out their delightful frog pool and they cheered while leaping into the mouth. We (the dog and I) are now enjoying blissful silence (pauses for a moment to listen); yep, blissful silence. I savor my quiet moments during naps. They are never long enough, though, as Elizabeth has too much to do and too much to say. I'm sure, if she could talk, she would tell you naps are for lazies! Her brother, however, prefers the easy going life and snoozes his afternoons away. Inevitably, I will run upstairs to get her and he will be on his back with one arm behind his head and the other arm clenching 'blankie' while sucking on his thumb. She will be jumping up and down, hollering in her most urgent of voices because she is sure she missed something in that short 1-hour period. I will scoop her up, quietly tip-toe out of their bedroom, and bring her downstairs where she will examine all of her toys to make sure nothing is missing. Then, she will proceed to kiss the dog and demand I quickly grab her milk from the fridge. We will snack and play until Ethan wakes up, usually two or three hours later (yes, he naps for up to 4 hours). Thankfully, mercifully, Mother Nature has given us a reprieve and we will head to the local tot lot for an early afternoon romp.

On to my favorite finds!

Pediped Footwear is amazing! Of course, we all have heard that it's best for our little Figgy's and Professor's to go barefoot but, when it's not practical, these shoes have been recommended by pediatricians everywhere! They're gorgeous, no?

P'kolino's Play Table can be reconfigured by your child! It's up to their imagination.

fawn&forest's rainbow... Provides hours of play!

Nanette Lepore shoes...'nuff said!

I think a comfortable, short snooze on the couch with the dog is in order.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I'm melllllllllllllllting, mellllllting!

Sweet daisy almighty! It's hot outside. With the heat factor, it feels like 102 degrees. Ugh!

I took Ellie to the orthopedic surgeon today. When she started pulling herself up to stand, she'd stand on the outside part of her feet. Then, when she started walking, we noticed her feet were turned slightly inward. Well, over time, her little feet have turned inward more and she's falling a lot. The doctor feels that this is due to being a twin and being squished in my belly. We'll have to really watch her knees, too, because they don't line up with the proper toes. She's going to have these fancy shoes that have to be fitted and made for her feet and will wear those for four months. Poor kid. I guess it's better to do it know while she doesn't know any better.

Anyway, this brings me to my point of the day. I'm never going to allow anyone to make me second guess my instincts, again. I adore our pediatrician, I really do. She's one of the best in the area, the head of the practice, and very good with the kids. But, she tends to be a little too laid back, sometimes. She felt Ellie would outgrow this foot issue, but I really pushed it a little bit at a time. I feel like I've been fighting for my kids from birth. When I was pregnant, we found an issue with Ethan's kidneys and they wanted to keep a close eye on me. The specialist felt it warranted an ultrasound immediately at birth. Well, we ended up having to go with the on-staff pediatrician at the hospital we delivered at and the guy was a real jackhole. I fought for four days before getting a different pediatrian in the hospital that would listen and do the ultrasound. Thank heavens I did that, because he needed to see a urologist and nephrologist at Children's Hospital for 10 months. He had hydronephrosis: . I guess it's just something we must do, as parents? We have to be their advocates. Which, in all reality, is our job, of course. Doctors are only human and we all make mistakes, not to mention I'm sure they deal with parents who jump to conclusions all the time. Either way, we're not switching peds. She's an amazing woman and I respect her tremendously.

I've stumbled upon a few new favorite things. First of all, I got my new bag! This woman is phenomenal. I stumbled across her site one night and e-mailed her after looking at some of her fabrics. I expressed my thoughts and she worked with me and used one of the fabrics that I wanted to use. Anyway, I couldn't be happier! (She just took her bags off-line today to finish up the huge demand, but check back. Really, she's a genius!) The first one is my new favorite!

A few of my other favorites:

Okay, folks. That's it for me, this afternoon. I'm beat and my little Figgy refuses to take a nap. She crashed in the car, but doesn't seem to want to sleep anymore. Bummer!

Monday, June 9, 2008


How excited are you that I'm blogging!?!? I know you've been holding your breath, anxiously awaiting this moment in history. Most people come to a blog and look for the whole "about me" section, right? Let's see if I can quench your curiousity.

I am a work-at-home mom to wonder twins, Ethan and Elizabeth. Elizabeth is fondly referred to as, "Figgy" around our home. I'm not sure where that came from, my husband just started calling her that shortly after we came home from the hospital. Ethan is our little professor. The moment he was yanked from my belly, he was a very inquisitive little man. He's all about learning. With that background, you can probably deduce that this blog will be about them; and you'd be right! Genius!

I work for a small, female-owned business based out of Annapolis, Md. It's an internet security sort of company and I do the technical report editing and banking. I love my job. I work for my best friends, so it all falls into place. I also design children's clothing and hair accessories for little Figgies. (I say I design children's clothing...I design them. Now I just have to figure out how to use the new sewing machine!)

Let's with twins. It's a roller coaster. We had a very easy time in the beginning. My pregnancy was a breeze, aside from 30 straight weeks of throwing-up everything that went into my mouth. I had no complications and carried my little butterballs full-term. Ethan weighed in at 6.6 and Elizabeth was 5.14. They were wonderful newborns and very easy to care for. Once they started walking, life as we knew it was over! They go in different directions, have different opinions, and love each other madly. Elizabeth is the kisser and hugger and Ethan wants nothing to do with that. They get into mischief on a daily basis, keep me on my toes every second of every day, and still manage to garner attention everywhere we go.

We've heard it all, from strangers, no less...
  • Are they twins?!?!
  • Are they identical?!?!
  • You're not breastfeeding, are you?
  • Did you deliver them vaginally?
  • Did you take fertility drugs?
  • Can I take a picture of them?
  • Which one is smarter?
  • She's so much prettier!

My favorite comebacks include:

  • No, they're not twins. But, we did steal them from the same hospital.
  • No. That one has a penis and this one doesn't.
  • Why, do you want to do it for me?
  • No, I delivered them anally.
  • No, but we did drink a lot that night!
  • I am.
  • Thanks, the plastic surgeon said that would happen when we fixed her nose and got lip implants.

Ha! That's all for tonight. I hope I've managed to give you a little bit of insight into our lives. We'll work on more tomorrow.