Ethan, you come back here!

I got stung by a bee for the first time in my life, today. I am 33. I acted like a 2 year old. I dropped everything on the ground, screaming and thrashing around with my leg up in the air like an acrobat. Figgy went one way and Ethan went the other, laughing as hard as he could. The neighbor came RUNNING out of his house, grabbing my leg to see if the stinger was still embedded in my little bitty toe (that was now the size of a grapefruit).

Him: "Was it a bumblebee or a wasp?"

Me: (wailing) I. Don't. (long sob) KNOWWWWWWWWWW! It wouldn't stop stinging me and I can't find the damned sadist anywhere.

Him: (stifling a laugh) It was a wasp, then. Those things are buggers, I tell ya. They'll keep stinging you, in self defense.

Me: In defense of what?!?! I was just walking along, minding my business. Perhaps (sobs) he should consider a different line of work that doesn't involve being in MY WAY!

As we're talking, my poor mother is running down the sidewalk. "Ethan, come back!" I look up to see him running down the sidewalk, every once in a while taking a second to glance back at gramma running after him. He puts his hand over his mouth and lets out the biggest laugh I've ever heard come out of his little mouth. My mom stops in her tracks and yells, "You little brat! I hear you laughing at me!"

My neighbor's son, dressed in his little league football gear comes running over to check on me with that pathetic look on his face like, "Lady, it's a bee sting." I thank Ward and tell him I'm so sorry to have scared him. He chuckled and headed out with Taylor, I'm sure talking about the crazy neighbor lady with the twins.

I. Got. Stung. By. A. Beeeeeeeeeeee! I think the top of my toe is going to pop off. No, really, I really do. I asked my mom to kiss it and make it better, but she told me I was out of my mind. Nice, mom. She did ask me if I wanted a super cool Barbie bandaid, though.

Ethan got his first haircut tonight, after this bee debaucle. He doesn't look like a baby, anymore.