What a crazy day! Figgy was out of her mind this afternoon and had all of us laughing at dinner. She has decided that she likes to have one arm out of her shirt so that it sits at an angle across her shoulders. On top of that, she found one of her old infant headbands that was stretchy and put it around her neck. It has a bow on it. She looked like a little exotic dancer. And to top it all off? She climbed up on the dining room table and started dancing.
I nearly spit out my soup.
Jason and I got out of the house tonight for a few hours and it was heaven. We've decided to take a proactive approach to our marriage and started counseling tonight. We did a few sessions a few months ago, but decided it was time to find someone we both felt comfortable with. The last lady told us, after two sessions, that she didn't feel we needed counseling and that we were one of the more healthy couples that she had seen in ages. Well, we sort of disagree, so I found a new guy. Our insurance page states that he has an office here in town, so I called and made an appointment last week. Turns out he closed that office and opened one up in his home, which is about 20 minutes away, near the University. We LOVED him. My husband isn't one to just open up and start talking, but this guy made him feel comfortable and he just wouldn't stop talking. The one thing we really liked about him was that he got what we were trying to say to him - that we feel as though our marriage is #1 priority. While our kids are absolutely important to us, we're both pretty set on the idea that without us, there is no family. We want to be healthy for them and to give them a healthy example of what a family and a marriage is about. Neither of us had that example growing up. I mean, let's face it, his mom came right out and told us two months ago that she wouldn't marry his dad if she had it to do over again. So, you can only imagine the example that they set. My husband, unfortunately, is one that believes you stay together for the sake of the kids, no matter what. I, on the other hand, feel like the very best thing my parents ever did for us was to divorce. What I do know, though, is that I want my marriage to work out and sometimes I think you need a little help to get back on track and refocus. So, that's what we're doing. I think we've lost that sense of priority and we need some help getting it back. No, we're not on the verge of divorce. No, we're not on the verge of separation. No, we don't hate each other. As a matter of fact, we love each other very much and still spend each night cuddling and chatting. It's just a simple refresher course, so to speak.
Anyway, we love this guy, like I said. He gives good feedback and he's honest. He had us both pegged by the end of the evening - my husband is the fixer and needs to resolve everything immediately. I, on the other hand, can hold a grudge like the best of 'em and need to learn to let some things go. Who knew?!?! LOL!
Mom tells me that the kids were famously good for her (of course!). She gave them ice cream (only grandma does that) and, by the end of the evening, they would get a spoonful and go, "Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm!" Thanks, mom! LOL!
My gratitude for the day:
I'm so thankful that I have the ability to see that my marriage needs a refresher and that I'm not running for the hills, ready to give up. That's always been my m.o. and I thank God that he put someone in my life that I feel like fighting for and spending the rest of my life loving.
Monday, November 24, 2008
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