I am simply amazed as I look at these two. Our room is covered in pictures of Figgy and The Professor and I lay in bed at night and have a hard time remembering those days so long (and not so long) ago. The picture above our desk is one of the two of them crawling towards the camera, smiling those "trouble" smiles. The one above our bed is their first professional portrait, black and white, at 6 weeks. They were our miracles - they are our miracles. I remember so clearly that cold, foggy winter day in January when we crawled into the car, anxious and bubbling with excitement and anticipation. We had no idea how much our lives were about to change, no matter how prepared we thought we were and how desperately we had wanted these babies. I remember laying in the prep room as the nurses tried (one last exhausting time!) to find their heartbeats and make them stay put for a moment to get a clear reading. It took 2 hours, as with every trip to L&D that we made. I remember the ease of the epidural, the comfort of the nurse that was holding me and talking to me as they stuck that ten foot long needle into my spine. (Yeah, I know it's not 10 feet, but it looked like it!) I long for those days when I could hold them both with such ease against my chest. They were so little, so dependent and so new.
And, now! Now...Figgy tells me no with the greatest of ease and emphasis. She looks at me with that grin in her eyes and smirk on her face as she does exactly what I've told her 100 times not to do. She bites. She hits. And then she throws herself into the dog bed with the dog and only wants love from Bayleigh. The Professor scratches his fingernails down the wall...across the glass...dragging his horse along the table as it makes a piercing screetch. He bites his daddy on the toosh - just because. And, after all those temper tantrums and streaks of independence, he throws himself into my arms and snuggles up; looking up at me and smiling while saying, "maaaama!"
The words were flowing this weekend like I've never heard them before! Bubbles! I'm sorry! Puppy! More! Please! And, Ethan has begun the early stages of preparing for potty training, I believe. He walks up to whomever is closest and, while tugging on the back of his pants, announces very proudly, "POOOOOP!" We're trying to get him to understand that he should tell us beforehand. But, it's a step in the right direction.
I feel like I popped overnight on Friday. All of a sudden, it is crystal clear (as though it hasn't been for weeks now) that I am pregnant. My belly is hard as a rock and I am feeling tons of movement. I understand that I will feel so much more with this pregnancy as it is a singleton.
Singleton, Lisa and Matt, not simpleton. :)
My heart aches as I realize my babies are no longer babies; they are growing into little people and that makes me sad.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
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